Straying From 'Supposed To's'

This morning on Carly's blog she wrote about her experience with the "Supposed Tos," and something about it really resonated with me. For a long, long time, I followed the Supposed Tos, because that's how I felt I needed to live in order to be successful. If I wanted to be a writer, I was Supposed To go to New York and get a job at one of the major magazine publishers. I'm Supposed To have that wild college experience people are always talking about. I'm supposed to live in New York City after I graduate and work at an impressive company that everyone's heard of. I'm Supposed To be an athlete and be involved on campus.

But after the rough year I had last year, and a lot of just general soul-searching, I've started moving away from the Supposed To's that have been set forward before me, and just thinking about what I want. I don't want to work at a huge company, feeling like I'm just on a magazine production line with a hundred other robots. I want to work somewhere where I can be creative and work hard and really be a part of something I love. And I don't have to do that in New York. That was a huge  realization for me. Knowing that I can go anywhere I want and be successful was kind of a huge weight off of my shoulders.

Another big Supposed To was the whole college-experience thing. For the first few years at school, I couldn't figure out why I was so miserable and why I didn't really fit in with my team. Then I realized that they were looking for a college experience I just really wasn't comfortable with. As soon as I broke away from them and found friends who weren't looking to get blackout every weekend, I was much happier.

It's easy to follow the Supposed To's, especially while you're young and confused about what you're doing and where you're going. But I have a clear idea in my head of the woman I want to be, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be her. I'm okay with breaking the "rules" so long as they fit in with my values and help me to get where I want to be.