I'm An Adult?

Everyone always says how great your twenties are and how college is the best time of your life, but as someone who is (almost) 21, it's just confusing.

There are times when I'll do something so adult and responsible, like take care of my electric bill or take out a loan. Other times I still feel like a child and as if I still need my mom's guidance. The other night I texted her and asked if I could buy myself a ticket home so I could say goodbye to Andrew before he moves. She laughed as she responded, saying of course  I can come home. I still live there of course. And it's my own money, so it's not like I'm even asking them for anything.

It's just weird to think that after twenty one years of depending on my parents, it's almost time for me to cut the cord completely. Of course, I am confident that I will be able to find a job and be an adult, it's just scary to think that someone as young and internally confused as myself is allowed out in the world of grown ups.

I can barely drive a car for crying out loud.

Of course, being young is an amazing thing that I'm trying to enjoy as much as possible. Having no one to look after except myself (which is, sometimes, an enormous task), being able to bounce back after only getting a little sleep, being able to travel and move around and try new things as much as I want. Those are all amazing things. It just seems so weird that I don't need my mom's guidance or my dad's permission before I do these things.

I'm just waiting for the day when I wake up and feel like a grown up.