What I've Learned About Being a Friend

As I mentioned yesterday, through some tough situations with friends and former friends, I have learned a lot in general about being a friend.

The first thing I've learned is that being exclusive is always a bad idea.  I used to be the type of girl who would have one best friend.  They were my go-to, my confidant, my only friend.  And while it is a positive thing to find a friend you trust and love being with, deciding that one is enough and that no one else should be welcomed into your friendship is wrong.  I've been on the other side. It's not fun.

Now I know how to be open minded and inclusive.  Being satisfied with a single friend is just lazy.  Maybe you don't like the people you are including, but they could lead you to an amazing friend you wouldn't have met otherwise.

I've also learned that being a friend is a two way street.  I don't know why I put myself through this, but I would never make plans.  I always used to sit around and wait for someone else to text me that they were bored, too.  But, after forcing myself to put myself out there, I am learning to initiate conversation, make plans and being generally outgoing.

I've also come to see the value in letting someone know they are important to you.  Just in general, this is a good thing.  Every once and a while I think it's a good idea to let someone know that they matter and that you value their friendship.  Sometimes all it takes is a quick text, saying "today was fun, we should hang out more often," just to let someone know that you appreciate them taking time for you, and that you really did have a good time.

Lastly, I've learned to be honest.  If something is bothering you, bring it up right away.  Burying things simply to avoid a confrontation never works out.  It will almost certainly lead to a blowout later on. Similarly, if you know you are in the wrong, admit it, apologize, and make it right.  Last semester, one of my close friends and I had completely opposite schedules and it became very hard for us to hang out.  But at the end, she told me she had been a terrible friend and she was sorry and that this semester would be better. And it was.  In admitting she had been a terrible friend, she was actually being a great friend. It meant a lot to me that she acknowledged this, especially because it was an easy fix.

Being a friend is work, but I also think its one of the most important things in life. Without my friends, I would be nowhere.  Its essential to surround ourselves with people who make us happy and who will be there for us, and through error, I have come to realize exactly how important this really is.