My Anxiety Story

This time two years ago I feel like I was a completely different person--on the inside. I was moody and sassy and I'd go from feeling really happy and excited to being pissed off and sobbing in the blink of an eye. I was constantly tense and I had to have everything in my dorm room arranged just-so. I had no tolerance for even the smallest little things my roommate did and I constantly complained that i just felt too much. I was miserable at school, I was miserable cheering and it even started to impact my relationship with Andrew. 


I hated it. I hated myself.

I had always been nervous and a little obsessive, but it was something I managed for a long time, just constantly suppressing it and forcing myself to function. But as soon as I got to college, there were so many things out of my control and so many different things going on around me that I turned in on myself and turned into an obsessive-compulsive ball of nerves.

For a long time, every time I brought up my anxieties to my pediatrician doctor, she told me she'd refer me to a therapist and we'd deal with it from there. I knew anti-anxiety meds would help me and I wanted to talk to this woman who could prescribe them, but the thought of seeing a therapist made me...anxious.

I dealt. I dealt for a long time and then the summer after sophomore year I broke down and, sobbing, begged my mom to make me an appointment with Dr. Amber.

After my first session, I felt at least a million times better. Just hearing her confirm that I definitely had an anxiety disorder and a form of OCD was like a weight off my shoulders. From there it was a steady incline of a low-dosage med and a few more sessions where we worked on conquering some of my fears.

That summer changed my life. Two years later I am so much more confident in myself and able to do things I would have never done back then. I am just generally a happier person and the little things get to me so much less. I am so proud of myself and so thankful for the resources with which I was provided. I've come so far, and life is just a million times more amazing for me.

That's my story. I feel like so many more people I know than I even realize struggle with or have struggled with similar things, but I just want the world to know that there is help and it gets better and there's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of.

Life is a truly amazing thing and everyone should be able to enjoy it.