Simple Pleasures 2

Since my last post on the simple pleasures that brighten my day, I've started noticing other little things in my life that make me happier.

Starbucks Caffe Americano:I stumbled upon this by accident the last time I flew home when the coffee kiosk was...out of coffee? The barista offered me Americano as a replacement, which is basically espresso beans brewed over water rather than coffee beans. The result is a strong brew with a smoother texture than coffee. Ooh la la.

Caesar Salads:On Fridays after work my go-to dinner treat is a Caesar salad. I'm not sure exactly but they're one of my favorite semi-indulgences at the end if the week. Plus with a glass of wine....perfection.

Group Texts:There is something about the quick and witty banter between my friends and I that always makes me laugh and cheers me up. Even though they're not in New York with me, it's nice to know I can always count on them when I need it.

A Fresh Manicure:As much as I love getting my nails done, even giving myself a full manicure makes me feel so much better about myself and so much more put together. Clipping, filing, buffing and painting is also a very therapeutic process. And sometimes, when I'm feeling optimistic that maybe spring will eventually come, I paint my toes, too.

Chamomile tea:I have a shelf full of teas in my pantry, one being chamomile. I was semi skeptical a few weeks ago about the tea's ability to calm me down after a rough day. However, it is perfect. Almost every night a brew a cup and drink it while I read in bed.

Gossip Girl: I'm not sure what drew me to it, but when we subscribed to Netflix, I started watching Gossip Girl. I had read the books when I was younger and I was just...curious. However, now that I've started I can't stop. I'm addicted to the drama, the clothes, the New York City locations. Maybe it's because I see a lot of myself in control-freak Blair. (Without the scheming, of course). Regardless, I really do enjoy spending mindless hours watching the drama unfold.

An Escape: Through Pictures

Today, I am flying back to Rochester to celebrate Easter with my family.

Saturday, I took a personal day and took myself shopping in SoHo.  I didn't really need anything, but I needed a day on my own, in a place I really love to just get out and clear my head.

I did a lot of things like buy a lipstick, return that lipstick for another, buy hair salve, poke around Washington Square Park, treat myself to pizza and Starbucks.... You get the picture.

And if you don't, fear not, here is a photo collection of the highlights of my trip.  (I got the idea to share my day via the pictures I took from a blogger I follow and admire--Amanda.)

By the time I got back, I was not only exhausted, but also very calm and my head was clear.

Side note--I slept like a baby.

Obviously, I had a premonition Friday morning when I made my to-do list, and knew I'd need wine by the end of the day

I SAW A CORGI IN REAL LIFE. I didn't even care that its human saw me creepily take this picture.

Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous

Bought a springy new lipstick

Central Park. Beautiful as usual.

In a Funk

I'm not doing Obsession Monday this week because 1. I'm going home tomorrow and I have a ton of work to get done before then and my posts aren't a top priority, and 2. I had a rough weekend and I'm in a little bit of a rut. I'll be better soon I swear.

In the meanwhile, here is my latest painting, an assignment on typography, but I ended up really liking the phrases I chose. Because sometimes when you really want to hold onto something, a little voice urges you to let it go.

Enjoy!

 

Rue La La

A few months ago, I joined Rue La La on a whim, curious about what exactly it was.  It turns out, they have a ton of designer goods at heavy discounts.

While I do enjoy their emails and and looking at all of their designer items and seeing how cheap they were, until recently I stuck with texting my mom, telling her what was available on each day, with no success.

However, a few weeks ago, I got an email from them, acknowledging that I hadn't ordered anything yet. Consequentially, they credited $30 to my account! Immediately I was on the hunt for something I could order at essentially no cost.

I decided on this Gorjana-Griffin bracelet, because even though my jewelry collection is huge, I didn't think it was huge enough.

Rue La La is a great concept, and if you're a fan of designer clothes/shoes/accessories, but on a budget, it's a great solution. Join here!

Good News (Literally)

As a communications major, people are constantly telling me I need to keep up with the news and current events. But thats hard. Last semester I interned with WABC Eyewitness News, where my job was basically to watch the news.  After I left, though, my knowledge of current events fell dramatically.

However, recently, I discovered The Skimm.  Its a week-daily newsletter that gets sent right to my email every (weekday) morning.  Its written by two twenty-something women, and geared towards the same demographic.  It not only gives you the highlights of the biggest news worldwide, but it also gives you the "why."  It tells you the significance of the Papal Conclave or of President Obama's trip to Israel, so you not only know about the news, but so you can speak intelligently about it.

I like having news to read every morning.  It helps me wake up slowly as well as helps me sound like I know what's going on.  It's a little sad that I need my news to be delivered and broken down in this fashion, but in a world full of complicated events and tragedies, it's helpful, too.  It also helps to understand the implications of everything.

Not to mention, these two womens' story is pretty impressive--starting this newsletter from their apartment and seeing it take off.  It's inspiring to see two young women finding their niche in this complicated world.

Interested? Sign up here.

Kate Spade Saturday is Here!

I heard about Kate Spade's sister brand--Saturday months ago.  I immediately signed up for email updates and waited impatiently for its reveal.  And then yesterday, I woke up with an email from Saturday.com, announcing its arrival. Finally. I was not disappointed.

It is a lower price-point brand than Kate Spade, aimed at the younger market, ages 20-30. That's me. I am in love with everything Kate Spade puts her name on and this collection is no exception.  Its bright prints and playful cuts are just what I'm looking for. Unfortunately, even though the price point is significantly lower than the actual Kate Spade, some things are still a little out of my reach.  But considering the amazing sales KS typically has, I have faith that Saturday will be affordable in the future.

Here are a few things I absolutely love from the inaugural collection:



 

1. Ponte Dress || 2. Shift Dress || 3. Sunnies || 4. Bag

5. Bag || 6. Bracelet

7. Satchel || 8. Mug || 9. Jeans

A few notes: I really love the abstract print (obviously). But I also love how well they branded this.  Everything is supposedly something to be worn on weekends (although I would wear it any day of the week) and everything fits this theme. From their customizable weekender bags, to cute sneakers to Saturday morning coffee mugs. A plus, Kate Spade Saturday.

Gettin' My Tan On. Kinda.

Before I went home for break, I was gung-ho for signing up for a week of tanning at the local salon. I had tanned all through high school for my various formals, and was ready to stop being so god awfully pasty.  I was also a little bitter that I was going home to chilly Rochester where the closest I'd be getting to a beach would be a few shifts at Hollister. Not ideal.

However, the more I thought about tanning the more real it's dangers felt. Maybe I'm finally, sensible, practical and old, but all I could think of was the threat of skin cancer and wrinkles. Yikes.

So, to replace the rays I could be soaking up in the bed/on a tropical vacation somewhere, I settled on a self tanner. In the past, I have avoided such products like the plague, but I did a ton of research and found that Jergens Brand makes a lotion that enhances your skin tone without making you orange or streaky.  I bought a travel size tube and gave it a go. I figured, worst case scenario, it's still frigid pants weather, so no one would really see if I had a self-tanner induced disaster.



I really like this product though.  After about two uses it gave my skin an extra kick of color, without being blatantly orange.  I read online that it had a strong odor, but I think they've fixed it since the reviews because it really smells kind of nice. Plus, it's only about $8 at drugstores.

I started by using it twice a day, right after a shower and right before bed, but after about 3 days my legs started to look a little orange, so I calmed it down to every other day.  But I think this is a fantastic product and I will continue to use it until the sun decides to come out and play nice.

Added bonus, now, on the first day of shorts-weather, my legs won't be pasty enough to blind everyone who sees them!

Disconnecting Here and There

Believe it or not, I've detached myself from my phone, computer, iPad a ton this past year. I used to keep my vibrate on high and sometimes even keep the volume on so I could read my texts right away. Now, though, I'm starting to detach even more, and the more I do, the better it feels.

My newest resolution has been moving my phone's charging station. While it used to be next to my bed, all of my technology now lives on my desk. Making this move was good for a number of reasons.

For one, because the outlet next to my bed is right above the heater, I have a sneaking suspicion that its been overheating my chargers, because all of them have stopped working this year. I've gone through at least 4 different cables. So, my desk seemed like a cooler, safer place.

Second, my alarms are all set on my phone, so now when it goes off in the morning, I have to physically get out of bed to snooze. No, its not that far, but ripping myself from under the covers is literally the biggest struggle every morning, and having to get up, if only for a few seconds, helps get the ball rolling.

Finally, having my phone more than a foot away from my head helps me sleep better. Instead of me waking up every time I get a text or email, or someone tweets at me or likes my Instagram, my phone is far, far away, and I don't have to deal with any of that nonsense.

In a world where we can, and are constantly connected, I would like to think that I can be detached when I'm sleeping. I know how important sleep is and I value every minute I get. Keeping my phone and other screens away from me during this time helps me relax faster and sleep better.

This world makes it hard to want to disconnect, but once I did I knew it was for the better.

Spring Break 2k13 Recap

I didn't go on a Spring Break trip. I went home, to Rochester, for ten days, and even though I would have preferred warm weather and a beach, I did a lot of things while I was home and took some big steps.

To begin with, Friday I picked Bridget up from school and we went to Dunkin so I could experience my first croissant. I wasn't allergic, but to be honest, it wasn't as delicious as I had expected. Nevertheless, I made progress with trying new things.

That night, I drove up to Buffalo to surprise Andrew. Funny story--he didn't know I was in my way and stayed at the gym extra long because he thought I was running late, and I was stuck on his front porch for about 30 minutes. Oops.

Since I have been begging to go to Niagara Falls since about 10th grade, Andrew took me for a day trip on Saturday. It was so nice to see it up close. It is really pretty, after all.

On Sunday when I came home, I went to Trader Joe's with my mom and picked up--among other things--sunflower seed butter. As I posted about before, this was a major milestone for me, and has now become a major obsession.

Monday, Tuesday and Friday I worked a few shifts at Hollister. Not so fun. But, since I will be getting paid next week, it was a little bit worth it.

Tuesday I went to the dentist by myself--major milestone, and got my hair chopped off. (Not really, just an inch of damaged ends, but it felt like a lot).

Friday night, after an emotional heart to heart with my mom and sister, we went out to eat at Dinosaur BBQ to celebrate Bridget deciding on her first choice college--LeMoyne!

Saturday, my mom and sister and I had a semi-ladies day, where we shopped, got our eyebrows waxed and went to the liquor store (lol). I also tried sushi with fish in it (salmon and tuna--my usual used to just be a cucumber roll). And I lived! And liked it!

Saturday night, my dad made a Mario Batali short rib recipe that I'm obsessed with now. But honestly, I'd eat anything if it was from a Mario cookbook.

Also on Saturday, I sucked it up and let my mom highlight my hair. She does her own every month, and my super picky sister trusts her, and I was so desperate to lighten up my locks I agreed. And now they're all better and not so drab-looking.

Although I didn't go away, this break was great for a lot of reasons. I got to spend a whole weekend with Andrew, which was wonderful. I got to make money which was great. I got to relax sand catch up on sleep, which I desperately needed. But I also stepped out of my comfort zone a bunch of times, and I'm really proud of myself for that. I know they're just baby steps, but they were 20 year old fears that had to be dealt with. And the best part? Nothing went terribly wrong. I sucked it up and made it through, discovering new things I love along the way.

Obsession: Painting

I'm finally back in the Bronx--if only for a little over a week (perks of going to a Jesuit school)--just in time for my Visual Thinking midterm review. As much as I am not a fan of my professors teaching/critiquing style, I have always really loved painting. It's pretty therapeutic to me, even when I happen to be doing it for five hours straight on a Saturday night.

It's always relaxed me; last summer when I was having a really rough and stressful time, my mom bought me a few canvasses and a set of water colors, and it really helped take my mind off of my stressful experiences, as well as relax me for hours on end.

So, here are a few of my favorites, some that I've done for class, and some that I did on my own, just for fun. :)

For class:

Just for fun:

**The corgi is actually a card I made Andrew for Valentine's day. He has it hanging on the wall in his room now at school haha :)

St. Patrick's Healthy Shamrock Shake!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Although my name might be Kelsey Marie, and I might have ginge-y hair, I'm not Irish. At all.

But, I've always loved the Shamrock Shake at McDonald's. Maybe it's because they're only available once a year, or that they're so artificial they have to be good, but I am obsessed. Unfortunately, I am painfully aware of how terrible they are for my body. And I was inspired to make a healthier version for myself.

So, in honor of St. Pat's, here is my cleaner recipe for the Shamrock Shake.

1 cup vanilla greek yogurt

1/2 cup milk

1/8 tsp peppermint extract

1 banana

3-4 ice cubes

handful of baby spinach  (green food coloring if you're not about green smoothies)

Step 1: Put all ingredients in a blender

Step 2: Blend it all up until it's as thick as you desire

Step 3: Pour into a cup and enjoy! This option is so much more natural than the original, and tastes just as good!

Lusting Over Lush

By chance, I wandered into  a Lush Cosmetics store on my break the other day.  I'm not sure why, mostly because I had time to kill and I had never been in there, and I was, well, curious.  I poked around a little when the sales associate found me and talked my ear off.

Typically, I hate being talked to while I shop, and I tried to give this woman the same message, but she didn't pick up. The more she talked to me, though, the more intrigued I got.  First of all, the home made products they had in the store looked super delicious. I'm not sure if they're edible or  not, but I kind of wanted to try them.

Second of all, they have tons of beauty products, which I didn't realize.  I assumed it was mostly soaps and lotions, but it turns out they have makeup, hand creme, split end wax, hair masks, shampoo, deodorant.... You get the picture.

Little known fact, I'm obsessed with my hair and keeping it healthy and unsuccessfully growing it long. So when I found the hair products, she started talking to me about a hair mask to stimulate hair growth. She showed me her roots (lol) and after she had been using it a month and a half, her hair had grown at least an inch and a half. Sold. Unfortunately, I had neither money nor time to spend, but I'm seriously contemplating going back. I mean, not for nothing, but the products are eco friendly and basically chemical free. While they're a little pricier than I'd like to pay, they certainly fit in more with my clean, preservative-free lifestyle.

[caption id="attachment_375" align="aligncenter" width="331"] Hair Mask[/caption]

Nevertheless, I'm just wondering if any of my readers (I'm hoping some of you really exist) have used any Lush products? And what did you think??

 

On a side note, right after I wrote this, I encountered (on a separate Pinterest endeavor) peoples' high ratings for the Silk Stockings Skin tint.  And since I'm unfortunately of mostly eastern European descent, I'm awkwardly pale and will be adding this to my list of "to buy" next time I'm home.

Busy Doing Nothing

Although its my Spring Break and I have actually been relaxing a lot, I also feel like I've been really busy.  Between shamelessly sleeping until noon everyday, applying to summer jobs and internships, and picking up a few shifts at the Pier (embarassing, I know) I haven't really had time to sit down and write a few posts.

So here's a few fun videos to watch and enjoy until I can get myself together enough to write some real posts. Sorry!

JGL Singing probably the best song...ever.

Jenna Lyons being fabulous, as usual. 

And the cutest video I have ever watched. Ever. 

More posts later!

Updating My Makeup Bag

Since the beginning of this semester, I've become extra interested in growing up a little bit and investing in some big girl makeup.  But here's the thing--makeup is expensive.  As much as I love Sephora, spending so much money on makeup is tough for me. But, I've devised a kind of investment plan, where I can build my good quality makeup stock without dropping over $100 at once.

I started in February, buying this concealer that I'm in love with.  Now, each month I'm going to invest in a new item until my collection is complete.  That way, I can buy myself my treats each month, take more trips to the makeup geniuses and not kill myself at the checkout.

Pretty inventive, right? :)



 

Side note: I did actually buy lipstick last month but I lost it at a party. :(

Sunflower Seed Butter

If you follow me on Instagram, you've seen the biggest thing to happen to me in basically 20 years. I ate Sunflower seed butter.  EEEEEEE.

I have been very allergic to peanuts ever since I can remember. I've never tasted it.  I've also been an anxious ball of nerves for just about as long.  For years, I've kept my distance, refusing to eat anything that even reminds me of a nut. But this week, I gathered all my courage and bought a jar of sunflower seed butter.

I had my first bite, my first "PB and J," my first "peanut butter" and toast. And I lived! It's the weirdest thing.  I'm almost 21 years old and I've just lived a whole life without ever eating peanut butter, and I never realized how much it impacted me, until I could finally join almost everyone else on the planet.

[caption id="attachment_363" align="aligncenter" width="392"] My first "Peanut butter" and Jelly sandwich[/caption]

Via Instagram

It was like I was six years old again, realizing that I was missing out on something so common with everyone else.  After I tasted it and realized it was safe, I sat at my kitchen table making a list of all of the things I never got to try that I could finally experience.  I sat down and had a "PB" and J sandwich and I just felt so normal.

Not that I haven't lived a fulfilling life sans-nuts, but being able to not feel like some kind of outcast that people are afraid to get near with their fluffernutters was a totally new feeling. Not to mention, going near and eating something so much like the peanut butter that I've been afraid of so long was a major  step for me.

Yay for feeling normal (finally) !

And, on a side note--I made everyone in my family eat some to confirm that it tastes like peanut butter and is a viable substitute for me.

Styling Jodhpur-style Pants

A few weekends ago I finally gathered my courage and bought a pair of leggings with (faux) leather accents.

I was a little apprehensive at first, because I wasn't sure how to style leather leggings, and I wasn't sure if I could pull them off even if I did figure out what to wear with them. But, after staring at my closet for a few hours, I figured some outfits out.

I love them. I love how comfy they are, but how put together they can look. I wore them out one night and wouldn't stop talking about how comfortable I was. I also really like how I can wear them casually during the day or dress them up at night.

 

The Pants

Day: Booties || Shirt || Necklace

Night: Blouse || Blazer || Pumps

Obsession: Brunch

Brunch is easily my favorite meal of the day. Maybe its just the food, or maybe its the fact that I can sleep until noon and still have eggs and bacon.

Aside from my dad's homemade buttermilk blueberry pancakes, I have a few favorite places to get brunch, both in Rochester and in New York.

 



Obviously, I am a little more familiar with Rochester than with New York, but I managed to sneak my favorite brunch spot in the city in--Lansky's.  They have legitimate blueberry pancakes and they put a loaf of fresh banana bread out on the table.  So good. Not to mention--they have unlimited cocktails during brunch. Perfect.

 

Love Life, Be Brave

[caption id="attachment_351" align="aligncenter" width="300"] but why does my arm look so hairy?[/caption]

When I first started drafting this post, I double checked like six times to make sure I hadn't already written one on this topic.  And I was shocked that I hadn't.  "Love life, be brave" is basically my life's motto.

This past fall, after searching for a simple silver cuff to accompany my watches, I stumbled upon this shop on Etsy.  Her bracelets are perfectly simple and very reasonably priced.  And immediately I fell in love with the quote stamped on this bracelet.  I ordered it immediately and I have worn it almost every single day since it arrived.

I  love the simplicity of the quote.  How much easier could it be than to love life and to be brave?? It's become somewhat of a mantra for me.

Loving life is something that has become easier for me over the years.  Some days, I stop for a minute and just realize how great things are, and how truly lucky I am.  Being brave is something that is harder for me.  I struggle with a lot of social situations and have to physically force myself to interact with people.  But the more I do, the easier it is and the happier I get. I think everyone benefits from taking risks and trying new things, and I love that this bracelet reminds me to do so every day.

I think everyone should have that one mantra they repeat in their heads to help them get through tough situations.  I know that if I live by these words I can make my life into the life I imagine myself living.

Good Over Bad

I have a tendency to obsess over everything that goes wrong.  What I constantly fail to remember are all of the great things that happen too. While I might have missed my Ram Van or got a bad critique on an art project, there are a million little things that can balance out all of these bad things.

I'm trying now to focus on these things.  It's hard, especially when its so easy to focus on things that hurt my feelings or went wrong or that made me really mad.  But at the end of every single day I have been trying to physically write down everything that went right or made me happy.

They don't have to be huge.  They could be a nice conversation with my roommate, a good grade on an assignment or a really productive afternoon.  By writing down these things, I think of them and physically see them written on a page.  They make it easier to remember--especially on the bad days--that it's not all bad.

Being positive is hard for me, but by making this physical effort, I'm hoping it will start to be second nature over time.

I was especially inspired by this quote. :)

Kelsey Quirks

I am, admittedly, full of weird quirks. I mentioned yesterday that I had plans with Bridget to get my first croissant ever, and it got me thinking about other weird things about myself, and I finally concluded that there are way too many, and way too many embarrassing ones that I am not willing to share. However, there are a few that I will.

1. Until recently, I have never had a croissant.  Which, might sound a little weird.  But, I'm allergic to all the nuts and a million other weird things, so I have spent the past 20 years of my life avoiding anything that might maybe have nuts.  And things from a bakery? They basically give me nightmares. But, since I've been in college I've gotten better about trying new things and at this point, I'm ready to conquer the bakery.  Especially because, though I've never had one, I've been craving a croissant for weeks now.

2. I refuse to eat spaghetti.  I have a very clear recollection of being about 10 years old and declaring to my parents that I do not like spaghetti.  And I stand by that assertion.  I haven't eaten it in almost 11 years now.  Don't get me wrong, I eat pasta, but there's something about spaghetti that I just can't stomach.  It doesn't hold the sauce and its slimy and hard to pick up with a fork and its just...gross.

3. I have an irrational fear of dinosaurs.  Ha. Ha. I know. They're extinct. But their bones are still all over museums and the dinosaur ride at The Animal Kingdom in Disney made me cry. 2 years ago. I don't know what it is but they are absolutely horrifying and I am so glad those monsters went extinct.



4. I cannot cut to save my life.  Neither with scissors or a knife.  Apparently, in kindergarten they test this kind of thing and my results were alarming.  The teacher told my mom to work with me on using scissors and cutting straight lines, but Cheryl disregarded it as my teacher being a loon, and lo and behold, I can't cut.  I mean, I can, but not well.

5. Until I was roughly 14, I physically struggled to ride escalators.  Like I had to hold someone's hand.  I'm like 99% sure I fell down one as a child and that's where the fear came from, but at this point I'm not sure it really happened.  All I know is that I still get really awkward and hesitant when riding down an escalator.

There's definitely plenty more, but these are the biggest abnormalities I have.  But honestly, if this is the worst of it, I think I've done pretty well for myself.

Spring Break

I am en route to Rochester, right this second, via Amtrak train. I am so excited to escape the hectic life at school, and just be at home with my family and puppies, relaxing, for 10 days straight.

After a tough week of emotional drama and scrambling to get all of my work done--not to mention surviving on a diet of cheese and crackers and Luna bars--I am so ready to be out of here.

This weekend I'm going up to Buffalo to stay with Andrew, and got to Niagara Falls, which I have been begging him to do for three years.

I also have plans with Bridget to eat my first croissant ever. That's a whole other post.

Pictures to come!

What I've Learned About Being a Friend

As I mentioned yesterday, through some tough situations with friends and former friends, I have learned a lot in general about being a friend.

The first thing I've learned is that being exclusive is always a bad idea.  I used to be the type of girl who would have one best friend.  They were my go-to, my confidant, my only friend.  And while it is a positive thing to find a friend you trust and love being with, deciding that one is enough and that no one else should be welcomed into your friendship is wrong.  I've been on the other side. It's not fun.

Now I know how to be open minded and inclusive.  Being satisfied with a single friend is just lazy.  Maybe you don't like the people you are including, but they could lead you to an amazing friend you wouldn't have met otherwise.

I've also learned that being a friend is a two way street.  I don't know why I put myself through this, but I would never make plans.  I always used to sit around and wait for someone else to text me that they were bored, too.  But, after forcing myself to put myself out there, I am learning to initiate conversation, make plans and being generally outgoing.

I've also come to see the value in letting someone know they are important to you.  Just in general, this is a good thing.  Every once and a while I think it's a good idea to let someone know that they matter and that you value their friendship.  Sometimes all it takes is a quick text, saying "today was fun, we should hang out more often," just to let someone know that you appreciate them taking time for you, and that you really did have a good time.

Lastly, I've learned to be honest.  If something is bothering you, bring it up right away.  Burying things simply to avoid a confrontation never works out.  It will almost certainly lead to a blowout later on. Similarly, if you know you are in the wrong, admit it, apologize, and make it right.  Last semester, one of my close friends and I had completely opposite schedules and it became very hard for us to hang out.  But at the end, she told me she had been a terrible friend and she was sorry and that this semester would be better. And it was.  In admitting she had been a terrible friend, she was actually being a great friend. It meant a lot to me that she acknowledged this, especially because it was an easy fix.

Being a friend is work, but I also think its one of the most important things in life. Without my friends, I would be nowhere.  Its essential to surround ourselves with people who make us happy and who will be there for us, and through error, I have come to realize exactly how important this really is.

Filling in Some Holes

 

I have alluded a few times to a rough first semester. And it was. It is actually still kind of hard on me. I’m not going to divulge the specifics, but I will write a little about why. I could say that it’s to fill in my readers and bring you guys up to speed, but really, it’s for selfish reasons—I just want to get it off my chest.

Junior year is rough on me for 2 main reasons.

1. Last summer I walked away from the Cheerleading team.

Around this time last year, I started feeling really put off by cheerleading. I felt like I was treated unfairly, the expectations were too high, and I was crying at almost every practice.

Every time I dragged myself to practice, I couldn’t help but think, “Why am I here?” I didn’t love it anymore. But cheerleading had been such a huge part of my life for so long, and I did love it—at one point—and I just couldn’t imagine quitting on all my friends. What if I regretted it?

But once the idea was in my head it wouldn’t leave. Once I told my parents about it, it felt like a possibility. And then I told Erin about it, and it felt really real.

The only problem was, I hadn’t told any of my teammates. None of them even knew I was thinking about it. We all had always joked about it, but it had always been something we never thought anyone would ever actually do.

But by the time summer rolled around, I did it. I called the captains—my two best friends on the team—and broke the news. It was hard. I told them I didn’t want to lose their friendship and they promised everything would be okay.

And even now, I don’t regret it. I love the freedom of being able to do what I want when I want without Fordham cheerleading breathing down my neck, telling me where I had to be and when.

But it was hard because until this fall, I had one very solid group of friends—the cheerleading team. I always knew twenty people I could hang out with, and always had at least someone to talk to and do things with. After I walked away, I didn’t really feel like I had anyone anymore. And while this wasn’t true, I just had to re-learn how to be friends with these girls, and how to make other friends.

I am not especially outgoing, so that was a challenge within itself, though very heathy.

Junior year has also been tough for another reason:

2. A huge and dramatic falling out with my roommate and former best friend.

While I won’t go into details, essentially what happened was, after things had been tense for a while, I blew up at her. I said some things I shouldn’t have and hurt her, because she had been hurting me. I apologized over and over but she basically told me the friendship was over.

It hurt to lose someone I was so close with, especially because we live in the same apartment and I have to see her every day. However, this whole ordeal has forced me to step out of my comfort zone and make new friends. And one good thing that has come from it is that I have found out who my real friends are, and who will stand by me no matter what.

I hate being catty and dramatic but this helped to let off some steam. It sucks that this had to happen, but I am making a conscious effort to make myself into a better person and a better friend, using the things I learned from this whole ordeal.

Obsession: Little Minka

[caption id="attachment_321" align="aligncenter" width="376"] A girl can dream[/caption]

I love Kate Spade.  I can't afford Kate Spade, but I love every last thing that woman puts her name on. I think her designs are all fun, classic and classy without overdoing it.  The kind of woman who wears Kate Spade well is the kind of woman I want to be.

However, the days where I will be able to afford her designs are far, far away. In the meantime, I'll settle simply for lusting over this handbag.  Its a classic design in a classic color.  I know that when if I get this, it will last me a long, long time.

My ultimate goal is to (someday) use my own big girl playcheck from my first big girl job to buy this as the ultimate gift to me.  I mean, its something to aspire to, at least.

Sophie Beans

Though my dog gabby has seen the bulk of the limelight on my blog, my dachshund Sophie deserves some credit too. After all, it is her my header image is modeled after.

We got Sophie when she was 6 weeks old, she's the only puppy I've ever had. The rest of our dogs were rescues. And she was a diva from day one.

Now she is seven and a grouchy old lady. But boy do I love that little nugget.

Affectionately known as Soapy, or Beans, Sophie enjoys a little fame in the twitterverse. That's right--you can follow her on twitter, @SophieWeinerDog.

The thing with Sophie is that she is so naughty. But also, shockingly smart.

For instance, she can portion out the food in her and Gabby's shared food bowl, eating exactly half. Meaning, when she is done, there is a line straight down the middle of the bowl of the food she ate and the food left for Gabby. That's right, somehow, this dog can understand half. I don't understand how she does it.

What's more, she's sneaky. A few months ago, she took my sisters lunch out of her backpack and ate her sandwich. After she was scolded we thought she learned her lesson. False. She was just scheming. A few weeks ago, Bridget texted me that not only did Sophie take her lunch out of her lunch bag and eat it, she zipped the lunchbox back up! Bridget got to school only to find her lunch was gone, the only evidence: a sandwich baggie chewed to shreds.

I will never understand how that little dog got so smart. Nevertheless, she has so much love for my family and I that we could never imagine life without her, no matter how naughty she gets.

Everyone needs a dog in their life. Who else could we laugh at endlessly and still get love and cuddles from at the end of the day??

Thank goodness for my pups.

Curing the Winter Blues

Friday I posted about my case of the Winter Blues.  And since then, I have recovered! Which is good news.  But it was hard, considering right when I fell into my slump, the weather got extra depressing. Read: windy and dark and gross and rainy.

But there are a couple of ways I dragged myself out of bed my funk:

A good night's sleep: As I said in that post, I put myself to bed and slept and slept.  Sometimes, I just hit a wall and I need to sleep it off to recover.  I also heard once (don't quote me on this, I'm no doctor) that sleeping helps you process the hormones produced by stress.  So if this is true, I digested a ton of stress chemicals that night, and woke up feeling refreshed.  I didn't even have to rush around in the morning.

A good sweat: That day after I got home from class, I went to the gym and did sprints.  It felt amazing to burn off some steam and really tire myself out.  By the time I got home, my body was ready to collapse.  I took a hot shower and crawled into bed, where my muscles could relax.

Get lost in a book: Since I got my library card and placed all of my to-reads on hold, some of them have finally become available and I've been feverishly trying to read them all before the NYPL snatches them back up again.  I just finished Hourglass by Myra McEntire, which took a little while for me to get int, but once I got into it I couldn't stop. I've moved on to Girls in White Dresses by Jennifer Close, a book (recommended by Pinterest) for girls in their twenties.  I've been reading every night before bed to help me relax my mind and unwind.

Watch some Netflix: Along the same lines as getting lost in a book, watching a few shows or a movie on Netflix is good to help put your mind somewhere else.  My mom even suggested watching a sad movie, so I would even have a legitimate excuse to be so sad.  If you're already crying, what's a few more tears?

Pour yourself a glass of wine: Or in my case, drain it from a bag inside a box.  I'm on a budget. But sometimes a nice glass of pinot noir (my mom taught me well) is exactly what you need to unwind and relax.

Winter Blues

Yesterday was the worst kind of day. I was up late and hardly slept and then my roommate was a total bitch. My visual thinking teacher didn't like my project, and then I spilled tea (that I didn't even get to drink yet) all over the ram van office.

Then I found out that my friends surprise birthday dinner was going to cost me way more than I thought. And, our friendship has been a little rocky lately.

By the time I got back from class and the gym, all I wanted to do was shower and crawl into bed at the ungodly hour of 8:30.
And that's exactly what I did.

After I tucked myself into bed I laid there and let it out. I cried. And cried some more. My day wasn't even that bad. But the more I cried the more I couldn't stop.

Finally I did. It was cathartic. I think every once in a while a good cry is okay. Sometimes you just need to release everything in a completely irrational way. I even texted my mom, concerned that there was something wrong with me--Why am I so upset? And she assured me I had a case of the winter blues.  I'm stuck in a winter rut and I need to get home and relax and have springtime. I need sunshine and warmth and a change of scenery.

A good cry was necessary to clear me out and let me start fresh.
On a side note-- I slept great after that cry.