Coming into My Own

This weekend actually marks one year since I had a falling out with a friend and my whole social experience of college got flipped on it's head. It has been a struggle. It has been hard and it hurt. But looking back, I have come so far. For the first time in my four years at Fordham, I'm finally happy.

I started to get a little bit of this feeling at the end of last year, when I felt like I had found my group. I found people I fit in with and could hang out with and I'm just so happy and so thankful.

Last Thursday was the first Senior Night of the year. Basically, on the last Thursday of every month, Fordham hosts a party of sorts, each with it's own theme, for seniors to attend. I had heard tons of good things about how fun Senior Nights are in my years leading up to this one, but since I never really had a close group of friends, I was nervous that I would be disappointed.

I wasn't.

My roommate and her boyfriend have a bunch of friends I've met a few times but never really spent time with but when we got ready Thursday night they were all there. Almost every friend I've made at Fordham (and liked) came and we had such a good time taking pictures and singing along with music before the event. Even once we got there, I had so much fun.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="392"] This theme was your childhood dream job. I obviously wanted to be an artist...[/caption]

I usually hate crowds, and I hate the thought of going out on weeknights, but this was an exception. It wasn't crowded and I didn't feel violated. I had space to breathe and talk with my girl friends. I laughed. I laughed so much.  It was totally worth my exhaustion the next day at work, especially because it's not a regular thing for me.

Talking about it the next day with my roommate (who's boyfriend made homemade sauce for dinner!!) we both agreed that it was easily the most fun we've ever had at school. The two of us have had similar experiences, so it's nice to feel like I'm growing with someone, not just by myself.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="392"] The sauce. Heaven.[/caption]

Looking back, my high school experience was similar. I hardly had a "group" and I definitely wasn't one of the "cool kinds." I was eager to graduate and head off to college, but then, senior year, I stumbled into a group of friends who I still consider my family to this day. I love what senior year has given me already and I am finally so excited to experience everything else it holds.

Knowing that I finally have good friends that care for me and about me makes it so much more fun and so much more enjoyable. I am excited for the next stage of my life (I think we should always be looking forward to the next stage) but the present is so much more enjoyable when there are people to enjoy it with.

Crashing

A few weeks ago (one? Two? I honestly can't even remember...) I wrote about how I'm still adjusting to my busy schedule.  And I still am. What hasn't helped is that over the past two weekends, I've been traveling back upstate, completely eliminating the possibility of doing homework on Saturday or Sunday.

I feel like I've been running myself into the ground, working, coming home and doing work until past midnight, and then waking up early every day and doing it all again. Of course, I love every second. I love paramount and I love the experiences I'm getting there. I'm excited to finally be taking classes I care about. But the late nights and early mornings are killing me.

As much as I loved seeing my family and Andrew, I'm also looking forward to staying at school and having a predictable routine for a month or so. I've even willingly agreed not to come home for Columbus Day weekend.

I'm also waiting to see when I will finally realize that I need to stop saving huge readings and papers due Thursday for Wednesday nights at 10 pm.

I love being busy, but when it's in my control. I hate the feeling that my schedule is controlling me and that I'm getting worn down in the process. I woke up Sunday morning with a sore throat and a disgusting headache and I'm taking that as a sign that I need to regain control. Doing my work as soon as I can and finally getting some sleep.

Weekend at Home

 

Since Andrew is heading down to Atlanta next week, I headed home for the weekend just to spend some time with him before he leaves. We spent the whole time together doing our favorite things, and it was wonderful to be home with the dogs and just relax.

My bus Saturday morning was at 6:30 and I had anxiety all week about waking up at 4:30 and making it to the bus stop in time. But of course, in true Kelsey fashion, I missed it. I set my alarm for 4:30...on Sunday and woke up to a million missed calls and texts from Andrew and my parents wondering where I was. Luckily, I wasn't hurt or dead, just asleep. 

I re-booked another bus and made that one (barely) and was home for dinner. 

I came home to a completely re-done bedroom. I have had the same room (blue with clouds on the ceiling, darling, I know) since fourth grade. My mom finally painted over the clouds and added trim and really turned it into a grownup room. The gray isn't gloomy, it's relaxing and sophisticated, and the pink accents are perfect. The room is no longer a shrine to my high school life, but a chic space to come home to. It's so much more adult and so much more me.

On Sunday we also made it to a farm (it is Upstate New York, after all) and picked up fresh apples, donuts, cider and apple freeze, which I hadn't encountered until last fall. It's like the most amazing blend of vanilla soft serve and applesauce. Perfection. 

And then we went to our favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner and just about died of happiness. I'm incredibly sad that Andrew is going to be so far away for so long, but weekends like this one reassure me that he is, indeed, my best friend in the world and that no amount of time or space will hurt us.

I'm so excited for him and I can't wait for him to start his life, and I can't wait to meet him down there so we can start our life together. 

all images from my Instagram

More Love For New York

In relation to my post last weekend about feeling like a real New Yorker, there are few things I love more. I love (and hate) when people ask me for directions. It flatters me that I look like I fit into this enormous city that was once such a culture shock to me.

I remember the first time I came to New York when I was in 10th grade. I had fallen in love with the city through the gossip girl books. (Lol) I remember seeing actual New Yorkers and knowing that I stuck out like a sore thumb in my fleece and uggs. And I wanted so badly to feel like I belonged.

I remember that time so clearly. Now, six years later (holy sh*t) I've slowly developed my own personal style and I've really grown up.

I know style isn't everything, but I truly enjoy reading about fashion and taking the time to come up with my outfits and put together new looks. I love showing people new brands or looks I've found. I love looking for the perfect item for weeks until I finally find the perfect brand with the perfect fit for the perfect price.

If I don't end up staying in New York, I'm glad it's given me this time to grow and to learn and to be exposed to something I've ended up loving so much.

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Help! I Have Dry Skin

Normally, my skin on my face is pretty normal, maybe a little oily at the end of the day. But lately, I've had to apply a ridiculous amount of moisturizer every time I shower or wash my face. I use a basic Oil of Olay moisturizer with SPF, but at this point, it's not cutting  it.

So, to all 50 of you great followers: what is a really good moisturizer? Preferably with SPF, because I'm literally terrified of skin cancer.

Help a girl out here.

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Clinique Superprimer

I'm not much of a makeup wearer. Of course, I wear some makeup regularly, so that I don't look like I'm regularly on my deathbed for work and class. I was always a concealer-and-mascara kind of girl, and it wasn't until recently that I started investing in nicer products.

On a normal class day, I'll usually wear some moisturizer with SPF and concealer on my blemishes and some mascara on my eyelashes. On a work day, I'll also wear my tinted moisturizer (that I love) and some eyeliner. And maybe a little bronzer.

Lately though, I've been reading tons of raving reviews of primers. I never really understood them but when I heard that you can wear them without anything on top of them and have a more natural, but still flawless looking complexion, I needed to investigate further.

I spent my lunch break at Sephora testing all different brands of primer on my hands. I ultimately went with this Clinique option and I can't do anything but praise it. It stays on all day long and keeps my face from feeling oily. My skin turns silky smooth and so so soft, both with and without the tinted moisturizer.

I used to think primer was just a useless extra step, but I am converted. This is something I'll always keep in my makeup arsenal.

Side note: it also comes in different kinds that benefit different problems, like redness or dullness, in case you have more specific needs.

A Little Faith

My entire life, my mom has talked about her mother's relationship with St. Anthony. It was something I understood, sort of. He is, of course, the patron saint of lost stuff. And we lose a lot of stuff, my mom and I. When we couldn't find something, she'd say a little prayer to St. Anthony, and voila, in a few days, the object would just turn up.

This is something she learned from her mom. My grammy passed when I was nine, so I don't remember much, although I can tell from stories and through my relationship with my mother that we would all get along really well if she were still around.

I'm not overtly religious and I don't regularly pray for things, so this connection my mom had with her mom had been something shared just between the two of them for a long time.

So when I lost my glasses Monday and tore up my apartment looking for them, and sent frantic emails to everyone I had contacted in the last week, my mom promised to say a little prayer for me. I rolled my eyes at her a little and prepared to just order a new pair, but lo and behold, I walked into the Mac lab yesterday and there they were, sitting on the desk where I had, apparently, left them last week.

That moment, between my mom, her mom and I was actually something really special for me. For one, it proved that my mom does know what she's talking about, and that the Visual Arts students at Fordham aren't thieves. But also it helped me to feel that connection with my grandma, and a little bit like someone is looking out for me.



I struggle a lot day-to-day, despite being such a functional and well put-together young adult (LOL JUST KIDDING). I always joke with my mom that I need St. Anthony and his constant guidance tattooed across my chest. That is a little extreme, but I am obsessed with this necklace, especially after this week's events. I'm a sucker for things with meaning to me and my family, and I'd love a delicate necklace to hang above my heart.

There's always faith. You don't have to be religious about it. Just knowing that there are good people looking out for you is enough to help you through even the suckiest of days.

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Kate Spade Surprise Sale

Nothing better than waking up to a Kate Spade Surprise Sale email. Isn't that bag to die for?

And with my birthday coming up in a month or so, there's lots of options here to choose from :)



This Southport Avenue Linda is beautiful. I don't need a tote at all, but I'm seriously obsessing over this one.

I'm loving this bag, and I think it would be a beautiful way to take care of number 4 on my 101 list.



Remember when I said I was looking for an ID/key ring? Perfection.

I can't say no to a scalloped bangle. Ever.



Pearl earrings are a staple in my jewelry collection, and these are a sweet twist on the classic.

Is anyone else shopping this sale?

Still In Adjustment Mode

So last week I started my internship with Paramount. And I love it. It's my first experience with Publicity, but it's so different from what I've been doing and there are so many new things and opportunities and I love it already. However, since I work 20 hours a week, in addition to web editing The Ram and take classes, it's quite an adjustment. A slow one.

Believe it or not, Mondays are my favorite days. I only have one class, and it's at 2:30, with a teacher I really like. And that's it. I can go to the gym and drink coffee and relax and do work in the morning, and have time to run errands and do more work in the afternoons and evening.

Tuesdays I work from 9 until 6, meaning that I need to wake up around 6:45 so that I can make it to work from the Bronx, and I don't usually get home until 7, and by the time I go to the gym and eat dinner, I'm starting my work at 9.

Wednesdays I wake up around 8 and upload the week's stories to The Ram website, and then take the 10:30 Ram Van to Lincoln Center, where I have class from 11:30-2:15, and then 6-8:45. Not only am I there all day, but I also have a super awkward break between classes, where it's illogical to go back to the Bronx. It is nice, though, to use this time to do my Lovelyish posts, and catch up on other work. And sometimes shop.

Needless to say, I don't go to the gym on Wednesdays.

Thursdays, though not quite as long, they do fluster me. There is a lot of rushing from place to place involved. I work from 9-1, and then have to hop right on the D train to the Bronx for class at 2:30. And then I go to the gym. After that, it's nice to relax and (maybe) do some work, and try to get a good night sleep.

Fridays are full work days, from 9-6 again. By the time I get home on Friday nights, going out is the last thing on my mind. I'm always just about ready to collapse.

So, my apologies for the long, rambling, complaining post, but I'm still struggling to adjust to my routine. I love being busy and having lots to do and feeling like I'm getting a lot done, but it's also hard for me to find my groove and not be completely exhausted.

But! This weekend I'm hopping on a bus back to Rochester to see Andrew before he heads off to Atlanta next month. I can't wait for a teeny little break. But that also means I have to get my work done before I go. Tears.

 I can't be the only one trying to conquer a hectic schedule, right?

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Keep It

This summer I came across Keep.com and was immediately obsessed. On the surface, it's a site similar to Pinterest, but it's much different. Keep is essentially, a shopping site. You can scroll for hours through all of the items other people have "Kept" and "Keep" them on your own page, similar to pinning. What's unique, though, is that you can click through every item to the site where it can be purchased. Also, right on Keep, the price of each item is listed.

I not only love the site and I Keep regularly, but I love the team behind it. I had the opportunity to speak with them last summer and I loved everything about the company. They're all fashion-obsessed and all have so many talents.

I love Keep and I think more people should know about it and utilize it. I love the company and I can't wait to see them grow in the future.

Healthy Pizza?!

The short story: no. There is no such thing as a healthy pizza that tastes like pizza.

The long story: I have been craving pizza for weeks now. I always put it off, saying "I'll get it this weekend" (I live across from a pizzeria for crying out loud) but I always end up leaning on my clean eating habits and just skipping it. So, I fired up Google and found a clean eating pizza crust recipe.

I have been eating clean (read: real) foods for about a year now. It makes me feel so much better than eating all of the processed foods I used to. I have so much more energy and I rarely feel bloated and sluggish. (That's not to say I don't cheat. Because I do--cough--margaritas, tacos, pasta, wine..). I just prefer to not indulge often, so when I'm craving something, I'll search for a clean recipe first.

I used this recipe the first time, and this one the second, but it just didn't work for me. I mean, it worked. But it's not pizza.



I can't get it crispy, I can't get it to taste good. It tasted like a thin omelette with sauce and cheese. I tried this, I really did but I couldn't. It's okay, maybe, but I'd much rather splurge on the real thing and really enjoy it rather than suffering through something less than.

Birthday Treats

I'm really into rewarding myself. And it's better to find things other than food to treat yourself to, right? My weakness is clothes. J. Crew and Kate Spade, actually. And with my birthday coming up and lots of paychecks on the way from work, it's only fair that I should get to treat myself, right?



This shirt is beautiful. The navy is perfect (obviously) and the peter pan collar detail is so sweet. And it's on sale, in my size.



I have been eyeing these pumps for months. They are beautiful and mature and I can't ever see them going out of style. They're currently on sale in my size and one other size. I made a deal with myself that if they're still on sale and available in my size by my birthday, I'm going to pull the trigger.



Target collabs usually bother me. They come off as a little cheap and they just aren't really my thing. But I've been looking for the perfect birthday dress and this 3.1 Phillip Lim for Target dress is perfectly navy and fall and leather. And it's an affordable splurge.



 

For a while I've been searching for a more adult clutch-ID case type thing. I had a coach ID sleeve I've used since freshman year but the C's are tired and young. Right now I'm using a wristlet from Target but I don't like how I have to take out my ID every time I need to get on campus. I like this Rebecca Minkoff wallet, but I'd also kind of like one where I can fit my phone in too, like a small, structured wristlet or something. I'm not sure yet. I'm also loving something like this. I might just need it.

Does anyone else treat yourself on your birthday?

Ordered My Business Cards

I've been putting off designing and ordering my business cards for a while, though I'm not sure why. Yesterday when I woke up early with nothing to do I pulled the trigger and ordered some from Moo.com. I can't wait for them to come!

New York Moments

There are sometimes when New York drives me nuts. When there are tourists everywhere, or when I can't find a cab or when I just want it to be quiet. But there are other times I love it and I feel so at home here. Yesterday I felt like a real New Yorker.

Even though it's a little sketchy at times, I've been taking the D train into Manhattan from the Bronx, mostly because it's faster than the Ram Van and cheaper than the Metro North. That, in itself, is a real New Yorker accomplishment. I always feel so legit sitting on the subway reading my book or listening to music.

I usually try to keep myself out of the City on weekends, only because it always tempts me to shop for hours on end. But when I saw a new Kate Spade store opened up right up the street from Fordham's Lincoln Center campus, I couldn't not go. It. Is. Beautiful. 

I tried this shirt on and fell in love. The color. The sweetheart detail. It was so beautiful. I had to put it back because it was a little more than I have in my checking account at this point. But it's hard to ignore it.

How gorgeous is this wallpaper? I love how every detail in every Kate Spade store is fit to the brand. I'd love to have this wallpaper in my bedroom, to be honest.

The real reason I was in the city was to get a drying rack from Bed Bath & Beyond. So lame, I know. But I felt so New York-y walking down the street with all my bags and toting them on the subway like an expert local.

Running errands alone in the city is one of my simplest pleasures. I love being able to poke around and be alone with myself for hours.

Life Lately

This past week blew by so fast. It was the first week of work and I just felt so busy. But in the best way. And Senior year is being so amazing to me. I love my job. I love my roommate. I love my friends.

I was nervous to be a publicity intern. I had never done anything like it and I had no training in it. It was kind of an experiment. I love it. Of course, I've only worked three days so far, but I love what I do and what I get to do. It's amazing to learn how everything works, and the people in my office are fantastic. It's been really eye-opening to see that there are whole industries I don't know about, but that I could love so much.

My first few years at school involved a lot of exclusivity. I had only one or two close friends and I didn't even know my neighbors in the dorm. Cheerleading sheltered me and kept me in a little bubble. Now that I've shed that commitment, though, I have made so many amazing friends. I am finally able to text multiple people to make plans. I have people to spend time with and laugh with and have deep conversations with. I can say hi to people on campus. It's so amazing and it makes me so happy.

Even though I am almost unbearably busy during the week, hopping from class to work to the gym to meetings, it's really a wonderful thing, since I love everything I'm doing so much. While my roommate and I have almost completely opposite schedules, we still make time to talk. Sometimes at night we'll sit at the kitchen table and just talk for hours, catching up.

 

101 in 1001 List

I've been following Mackenzie's blog and her 101 in 1001 List for over a year now, and I was only just inspired to make my own. So, 1001 days from now (June 10, 2016) I'll re-evaluate my list. I'll try not to get hung up on what I didn't do, and just be happy with what I did accomplish.

1. Move blog and do (some of) my own CSS

2. Go to the MoMA

3. Get a blowout at the DryBar

4. Invest in a classic handbag

5. Go to Brooklyn

6. Graduate from Fordham

7. Visit Chicago

8. Go to Atlanta

9. Do outfit posts on the blog

10. Go to Europe

11. Furnish my first apartment

12. Go to a brewery

13. Get a gel manicure

14. Watch all of the Star Wars movies

15. Adopt a corgi

16. Go to the top of the Rock

17. Go to the top of the Empire State Building

18. Have tea at the Plaza with my mom

19. Design and order business cards

20. Take on blog sponsors

21. See a chiropractor

22. Enroll in a yoga class

23. Go to a fashion show during NYFW

24. Contribute part of every paycheck to savings

25. Open an Etsy shop

26. Go kayaking/paddleboarding

27. Plan and pay for a trip on my own

28. Invest in a classic pair of heels

29. Get a dress tailored

30. Invest in a perfect pair of jeans

31. Go to a pro football game

32. Go to a pro basketball game

33. Take a wine tasting class

34. Create an online portfolio

35. Meet someone in real life from blogging

36. Go to the Botanical Gardens

37. Visit a friend at another school

38. Try CrossFit

39. Go to California

40. Buy a new computer

41. Become financially independent from my parents

42. Attend a friend's wedding

43. Get a dress from Rent the Runway

44. Run a 5k

45. Go out to eat alone

46. Freelance

47. Get 100 followers on blog

48. Turn my phone off for a whole weekend

49. Have an article written about me

50. Start a career

51. Be featured on another blog

52. See a movie premier at midnight

53. Meet a celebrity

54. Go a month without straightening my hair

55. Write a letter to all of my closest friends and family on their birthday

56. Take my parents out to dinner

57. No shopping for a month

58. Go on a wine tour

59. Wake up an hour early every day for a week

60. Buy something fill price at J. Crew

61. Go to a store opening event/launch party

62. Try 10 new restaurants (0/10)

63. Buy a business suit

64. Get a bikini wax

65. Invest in classic sunglasses

66. Buy a Lilly dress

67. Conquer my fear of dinosaurs

68. Go to one concert a year (2013, 2014, 2015, 2016)

69. Go home for Christmas every year (2013, 2014, 2015, 2016)

70. Read one book a month for a year (0/12)

71. Go to one of Bridget's club field hockey games

72. Have everyone donate to a charity for my birthday instead of giving gifts

73. Find the perfect LBD

74. Get fitted for a bra

75. Watch every season of The Office on Netflix

76. Find my signature cocktail

77. Learn to knit

78. Return to Fordham as alumni

79. Go to a new beach

80. Try a juice cleanse

81. Learn 5 new recipes (0/5)

82. Go to Canada

83. Go to a flea market

84. Buy fresh flowers for the apartment

85. Find a good trench coat

86. Sing karaoke

87. Give up blankie (ambarassing, I know.)

88. Take an entrepreneurship class

89. Make a work friend

90. Buy a lottery ticket

91. Attend a charity event

92. Try to eat paelo for a week

93. Throw a party

94. See SNL live

95. Receive fan mail from a follower of my blog

96. Go to a pro hockey game

97. Go to the ballet

98. Go to an aquarium

99. Go to happy hour after work with friends

100. Visit a Fordham friend after graduation

101. Put $10 in savings for each goal accomplished.

Fall Leather

I'm usually a little scared of leather, to be honest. It doesn't fit my typically classic and preppy style. But lately, I'm loving the little bit of edge it brings.

The leather edging along the neck of this dress is just enough to take it from a summer dress to a fall dress. I love how it's just a teeny edgy without being too hardcore for me.

Ah, the leather skirt. I didn't like it for so long, but it's growing on me, especially the skater-style. It seems super edgy, but I think the feminine silhouette paired with a preppier button up and a pair of pumps would make it much more my style.

I actually can't get over this tee. I'm always all about navy and white stripes, but the leather sleeves are just so...fall. I feel like I would wear this shirt every day. That's how obsessed I am with it.

I've been really into Asos lately, even though they (like leather) are a little edgier than my style usually is. Maybe it's real life looming in the distance that's causing me to panic and stray from my normal ways. Regardless, the leather pockets plus the warm sweater scream fall and I am a paycheck away from ordering this one. Sorry mom. 

And finally, the jodhpur leggings. I'm usually opposed, but I'm all about navy and black lately. These pants look (awkwardly) saggy in this picture, but they look super cute here. They're another item I could see myself living in.

I hate fall but I love fall fashion. And my birthday is coming up in a few weeks if anyone's looking for ideas...

RE: Struggle City Skirt Search

Admittedly, I am an obsessive shopper. I like to explore every possible option before I decide what item to purchase, and then I wait for the best moment to make my buy. So, after spending all day yesterday scouring the Internet for a navy skirt that's more casual than a pencil skirt, I found one. 

 I'm not usually a huge fan of Forever 21. It overwhelms me and a lot of the clothes aren't great quality. But this skirt is a linen blend, so it won't shrink when I wash it, and it's more casual than something made for office wear.

It got great reviews on the site, and the price was perfectly affordable, even with shipping. Nice and simple and versatile. Perfectly my style.

Put Yourself First

After everything that happened to me last year, I like to think that I have learned a ton and that I have changed for the better. A close friend of mine is going through something similar, and talking her through her problems helped me to see my situation much clearer. What I can see that is most important is making yourself happy first.

She is miserable because she feels like she is trying to be friends with someone who really doesn't appreciate her. She knows she needs to separate, but is facing the same feelings of sadness and anxiety that I was last year. It's so much easier for me, now, to see that she just needs to do what makes herself happy first, and after that, everything else will feel better.

Yes, getting in fights and losing friends sucks. It sucks to have to adjust and it sucks feeling alone. But through that, I saw that there was so much more out there for me, and that there were so many things I could do to make myself happy by putting myself first.

This year, I am involved and putting myself out there. I am doing things that I want to do, and in doing these things, I am meeting people that I actually get along with. I am actually happy and excited about things. I have different people to do different things with and different people to talk about different things with and it feels  really good.

I used to think everything that happened ruined me. Instead, it was a new beginning. Senior year has been good to me and I'm unbelievably excited to see how great my future can get.

After the

Struggle City Skirt Search

I have been shopping for a plain navy mini skirt for what feels like years. I have a pencil-type skirt, but I'd like one that I could wear more casually. Just a plain, navy skirt. You'd think it would be easy to find, right? Wrong. It is impossible to find one in the right size at the right price. My ideal? The J. Crew City Mini. Currently "on sale" for $70.

 Someone help me. I want to find one for under $30 and similar to this.

Essential Fall Outfit

After resisting for so long, I've finally come to terms with the fact that fall is coming. As a result, I am completely okay with fall shopping now. And what better way to start than with cozy sweaters and suede flats?

 For one, that sweater is perfection. French bulldogs are absolutely adorable, and this version is totally affordable. Add a pair of worn-in jeans, and some burgundy flats for a pop of color and voila! Fall perfection. And how gorgeous is that Asos bag? I'm having a terrible time resisting it.

J. Crew Look-Alike

Remember these embellished blouses from J. Crew?

 I was and still am, very obsessed with the style. What I'm not obsessed with, however, is the $110 price tag. Luckily, the other day I stumbled upon this look-alike style from Kohl's.



I'm not one to shop there normally, but I couldn't resist. The ruffled collar and my favorite oxford blue color? Perfection. I can't wait to wear it on it's own or layered under a sweater in the coming seasons.

 

Memento Necklaces

The closer I get to graduating and moving on, the more sentimental I get about New York— the City and the State. Knowing that I'm probably leaving for a while makes me sad. I love all parts of New York. I love where I grew up and I love where I went to school. I can't think of another place I love more.

I've been hinting to my mom for a while that I'd love a necklace with my home or state on it, so I can always carry it with me. I'm very symbolic and sentimental like that. And these necklaces are perfect.

 This necklace from Three Jane New York is perfect because you can have them engrave any street address, and they'll add a tiny diamond to your home's exact location.

 I actually have one of these map pendants already, and I love it. My best friend, Erin, gave me one for my birthday last year, and she has a matching one.

 I love the idea of a necklace with the coordinates of a location. Plus, this ring is super simple and elegant, and the little heart charm makes it a little sweeter.

 I might actually be obsessed with this necklace. It is so tiny and so delicate. I love that you can choose to get a longer chain, so I could potentially wear it all the time, without it getting shown off and being too flashy.

Confidence Project

Before I was blessed with Wifi in my apartment, I spent a lot of time reading Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project. I had heard a lot of things about how great this book was, but I was hesitant to pick up a "self-help" type book.

However, Gretchen's style was friendly and like something I would write, rather than being filled with useless research and preachiness. I was hooked. Just reading the book made me feel happier and more confident, and I've been inspired to start my own type of "confidence" project. And that's how my Confidence Commandments were born:

1. Reach out to one friend/make plans at least once a week

I am terrible with making plans. It gives me so much anxiety for no reason. But The Happiness Project, and countless research suggests that interaction with other people is absolutely essential to being happy. Plus, every time I make plans with someone, its an instant happiness and confidence boost.

2. Act the way I want to feel

There's a little wisdom in faking it until you make it. Acting confident actually helps me feel confident and the faster I get that through my head, the easier confidence will come.

3. Flip negative comments and ideas into positive ones

I easily get sucked into negative thoughts and bad gossip. It's a terrible habit and something I'd love to change. Instead of saying, "I'm terrible, I can't," I'm trying to flip it to "I can't right now, but here's how I can."

4. Research something that interests me 

I'm a real sucker for googling things. And listening to iTunes U podcasts on different subjects. So my goal is to start learning about things that interest me. There's no more putting things off. I will invest my time and learn about things that I want to.

5. Save money, but reward myself

I got a paid internship (yay!) and I can't wait to be able to save money for post grad life. But I also think it's important to reward myself from time to time. Like after I was offered my job, I ordered a pair of Jack Rogers that I had been holding off on for years. Balance.

6. Take time to relax

As much as I love being busy and productive, I really do need to decompress and relax from time to time. Similarly, I want to start stretching more often. It makes me feel so much more relaxed and calm.

So, here's my project. I just want to work on myself and work through the confidence issues I have. I want to be successful and confident and a fully functioning adult.

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No Apologies

In between episodes of Tara this weekend, I spent a lot of time on the Internet and on Tumblr and I stumbled upon this post. I'm trying to really be myself and love myself and this post just really made sense to me. I should be able to like something if I want. I should be able to dislike something if I want. It's who I am and I should never have to apologize for expressing myself. So there's that.

Netflix Binge

So, my schedule is open completely on Tuesdays and Fridays, until I start working in a few weeks. And so, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday have been five days of complete laziness. And after we got wifi Friday (YAY) I've just been laying around, occasionally doing something productive, and watching Netflix. I finished Orange is the New Black, and Netflix suggested The United States of Tara. I had no idea what it was all about, but after the pilot, I was hooked.

Essentially, the show follows Tara around, who has Dissociative Identity Disorder. She had a traumatic experience in her youth leaving her with several alter personalities who appear when she is most distressed. It not only delves into the issues with DID and other mental disorders, but also issues related to gay rights and family dynamics.

And I'm hooked. In the interest of not displaying how lazy and lame I am, I won't say how many episodes I've watched, but I have watched a ton of episodes. It's a truly amazing show and I would recommend it to everyone.

Side note, one of the stars is Brie Larson. You might wonder why you know her name. Courtney Enders from Disney Channel Original Movie Right On Track. Boom.

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